I took the puppy for a run. Well, I tried taking him for a run. I'm still working up to running for significant stretches, so we just ran a few blocks at a time. The first two stretches were okay, but the third one was a disaster. He got really excited & started running around me in circles at top speed. I was so afraid he was going to get loose & run into traffic on Brodie. I basically had to stand there & hold on to the end of the leash for dear life as he orbited me like a freaking comet! Eventually, he calmed down, & we went about our business. I hope I can turn him into a good running partner. He could use the exercise! He's getting chubby!
So, I'm trying to lose weight in earnest for probably the first time in my life. After a terrifying weigh-in at my doctor's office a month ago, I decided that it was time to stop making excuses & get my shit in gear. The biggest reason wasn't the number on the scale (though that did freak me out, and was the impetus for me getting my shit together), but the fact that I just don't feel like myself. Despite years of belly dancing, I'm not as flexible or as agile as I used to be even just 3 or 4 years ago. The weight that I've put on in the last 2 or 3 years has greatly detracted from my dancing, and that saddens me. I'm not old enough to feel this crummy!
Since that fateful day, 10/8 was the date, I've dropped 13 lbs & and inch. How am I doing it? The good old fashioned way - fewer calories, better food choices, and more exercise.
Wish me luck!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Discontent
I'm feeling pretty shitty today, but this helped:
Santosha: The Ease of the Heart
By Swami Shraddhananda
Continuing with our series on the eight limbs of yoga, as outlined by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras , we come to the second observance, or niyama , which is santosha , or contentment. It is key to all the niyamas and a necessary condition for enlightenment. Contentment paves the way for the integration of all the tools yoga offers.
Contentment is a requirement for peace of mind, yet we live in a culture that fosters discontentment. We are bombarded by advertisements that make us feel inadequate and promote a continual grasping for material wealth and sensual experience. We are taught to seek superficial gratification with no regard for future consequences for ourselves or the world. We become attached to things and people to avoid our personal discomfort. We are led to believe that satisfaction of our cravings, as well as our egos, will bring happiness. To the contrary, ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion and clinging to the sensual are actually obstacles to our contentment and our prospects for liberation. These five obstacles (called kleshas in the yoga texts) are the causes of all suffering. No wonder people can be so short-tempered and grouchy!
So, what is contentment, and how do we incorporate it as an "observance" in our lives? Contentment is serenity, but not complacency. It is comfort, but not submission; reconciliation, not apathy; acknowledgment, not aloofness. Contentment is a mental decision, a moral choice, a practiced observance, a step into the reality of the cosmos. Contentment/santosha is the natural state of our humanness and our divinity and allows for our creativity and love to emerge. It is knowing our place in the universe at every moment. It is unity with the largest, most abiding, reality.
Too often we think too small. Some people believe they must close their eyes to the suffering of others in order to maintain their own contentment. They confuse indifference with detachment, passivity with peacefulness, and isolation with equanimity. But hiding one's head in the sand will not guarantee contentment. There is an old saying from India: “You can wake up a sleeping person but you cannot awaken someone who is pretending to sleep.”
There are several ways to cultivate contentment. We can practice yoga postures, pranayama (deep breathing) and meditation to keep our energies balanced and our mind serene--qualities that lead toward contentment. We can keep a journal of things for which we are grateful. The deepest contentment comes at those moments when we feel we are in the flow of life, when we are communing with nature, when our energies are positive and when we have no desires. By being conscious of these moments, we can strengthen, expand and sustain the feeling of contentment for longer periods of time. Even when we are surrounded by chaos and disharmony, we can return to this feeling and find ourselves back in a place of peace and quietude. The state of contentment becomes a familiar place when we observe it throughout the day. The key is to bring our attention fully to it when it occurs and not hurry on to the next activity. And by affirming our place in the cosmos, our connection to others and our interface with the divine, it is harder to lose our way when disturbances arise.
One of the benefits of contentment is emotional maturity. Dramatic mood swings diminish, and personal crises are no longer the end of the world. Global events do not push us into isolated selfishness, but rather into community. Self-absorption is no longer the theme of our life. The loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or the nightly news broadcast does not leave us feeling devastated or powerless. This does not mean we have no feelings. But when we consciously santosha, we spend more time in contentment and less time in agitation, more time in consciousness awareness, and less time in the emotionality of anger or depression or other negativities. Contentment offers a doorway into another way to experience the world. There is elegance to how it shapes power in lives and allows for greater service to the world.
We live in times of great upheaval, whether we call it the 21st century or the end of the Kali yuga (the age of darkness). We are riding on a wave made of many changes, and because the wave is so high and moving so quickly we cannot always see clearly. People's lives across the planet are agitated by economic disparities, war, climate change and fears of the unknown. We are both the product and creator of these conditions; we help re info rce in one another the qualities of love or fear, contentment or discontentment. Ignoring these factors or becoming overwhelmed by them serves no one. The embrace of a larger reality is necessary in order to give us the courage to act as well as the solace of daily sustenance.
Many prominent leaders who promote non-violence and work toward improving the world have recognized that the cultivation of contentment is a requirement for working to alleviate the misery and suffering that surrounds them. Some of these spiritual souls, all of whom were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, are Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Aung San Suu Kyi (a Buddhist leader in Burma under house arrest for years and Nobel Peace Prize winner, 1991), Shirin Ebadi (a woman Iranian human rights lawyer and the first Muslim to win the Nobel Peace Prize, 2003), Jodi Williams (founder of International Campaign to Ban Land Mines, who persuaded 122 countries to sign the Land Mine Ban treaty, and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, 1997), Kathy Kelly (Catholic peace worker, nominated twice for the Nobel Peace Prize and recently jailed for peaceful protest at the School of Americas in Fort Benning, Georgia). All of these people observe contentment as they work for non-violent change, even in the face of harassment, criticism and jailings.
The eight limbs of yoga serve as a map for transformation, bringing balance to the inner and outer life. The eight limbs are yamas (restraints), niyamas (observances), asanas (postures), pranayama (breath control), pratyahara (sense withdrawal), dharana (concentration), dhyana (meditation) and samadhi (contemplation). These are tools to harmonize us as social beings and to balance us as individuals. The purpose of these eight limbs is to free us to realize our full potential and to bring liberation.
May all hearts be at ease. May our contentment promote the energies to alleviate suffering and turn ignorance into knowledge. May the cultivation of santosha guide us to courageous action, deeper community and greater love of all sentient beings.
Santosha: The Ease of the Heart
By Swami Shraddhananda
Continuing with our series on the eight limbs of yoga, as outlined by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras , we come to the second observance, or niyama , which is santosha , or contentment. It is key to all the niyamas and a necessary condition for enlightenment. Contentment paves the way for the integration of all the tools yoga offers.
Contentment is a requirement for peace of mind, yet we live in a culture that fosters discontentment. We are bombarded by advertisements that make us feel inadequate and promote a continual grasping for material wealth and sensual experience. We are taught to seek superficial gratification with no regard for future consequences for ourselves or the world. We become attached to things and people to avoid our personal discomfort. We are led to believe that satisfaction of our cravings, as well as our egos, will bring happiness. To the contrary, ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion and clinging to the sensual are actually obstacles to our contentment and our prospects for liberation. These five obstacles (called kleshas in the yoga texts) are the causes of all suffering. No wonder people can be so short-tempered and grouchy!
So, what is contentment, and how do we incorporate it as an "observance" in our lives? Contentment is serenity, but not complacency. It is comfort, but not submission; reconciliation, not apathy; acknowledgment, not aloofness. Contentment is a mental decision, a moral choice, a practiced observance, a step into the reality of the cosmos. Contentment/santosha is the natural state of our humanness and our divinity and allows for our creativity and love to emerge. It is knowing our place in the universe at every moment. It is unity with the largest, most abiding, reality.
Too often we think too small. Some people believe they must close their eyes to the suffering of others in order to maintain their own contentment. They confuse indifference with detachment, passivity with peacefulness, and isolation with equanimity. But hiding one's head in the sand will not guarantee contentment. There is an old saying from India: “You can wake up a sleeping person but you cannot awaken someone who is pretending to sleep.”
There are several ways to cultivate contentment. We can practice yoga postures, pranayama (deep breathing) and meditation to keep our energies balanced and our mind serene--qualities that lead toward contentment. We can keep a journal of things for which we are grateful. The deepest contentment comes at those moments when we feel we are in the flow of life, when we are communing with nature, when our energies are positive and when we have no desires. By being conscious of these moments, we can strengthen, expand and sustain the feeling of contentment for longer periods of time. Even when we are surrounded by chaos and disharmony, we can return to this feeling and find ourselves back in a place of peace and quietude. The state of contentment becomes a familiar place when we observe it throughout the day. The key is to bring our attention fully to it when it occurs and not hurry on to the next activity. And by affirming our place in the cosmos, our connection to others and our interface with the divine, it is harder to lose our way when disturbances arise.
One of the benefits of contentment is emotional maturity. Dramatic mood swings diminish, and personal crises are no longer the end of the world. Global events do not push us into isolated selfishness, but rather into community. Self-absorption is no longer the theme of our life. The loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or the nightly news broadcast does not leave us feeling devastated or powerless. This does not mean we have no feelings. But when we consciously santosha, we spend more time in contentment and less time in agitation, more time in consciousness awareness, and less time in the emotionality of anger or depression or other negativities. Contentment offers a doorway into another way to experience the world. There is elegance to how it shapes power in lives and allows for greater service to the world.
We live in times of great upheaval, whether we call it the 21st century or the end of the Kali yuga (the age of darkness). We are riding on a wave made of many changes, and because the wave is so high and moving so quickly we cannot always see clearly. People's lives across the planet are agitated by economic disparities, war, climate change and fears of the unknown. We are both the product and creator of these conditions; we help re info rce in one another the qualities of love or fear, contentment or discontentment. Ignoring these factors or becoming overwhelmed by them serves no one. The embrace of a larger reality is necessary in order to give us the courage to act as well as the solace of daily sustenance.
Many prominent leaders who promote non-violence and work toward improving the world have recognized that the cultivation of contentment is a requirement for working to alleviate the misery and suffering that surrounds them. Some of these spiritual souls, all of whom were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, are Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Aung San Suu Kyi (a Buddhist leader in Burma under house arrest for years and Nobel Peace Prize winner, 1991), Shirin Ebadi (a woman Iranian human rights lawyer and the first Muslim to win the Nobel Peace Prize, 2003), Jodi Williams (founder of International Campaign to Ban Land Mines, who persuaded 122 countries to sign the Land Mine Ban treaty, and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, 1997), Kathy Kelly (Catholic peace worker, nominated twice for the Nobel Peace Prize and recently jailed for peaceful protest at the School of Americas in Fort Benning, Georgia). All of these people observe contentment as they work for non-violent change, even in the face of harassment, criticism and jailings.
The eight limbs of yoga serve as a map for transformation, bringing balance to the inner and outer life. The eight limbs are yamas (restraints), niyamas (observances), asanas (postures), pranayama (breath control), pratyahara (sense withdrawal), dharana (concentration), dhyana (meditation) and samadhi (contemplation). These are tools to harmonize us as social beings and to balance us as individuals. The purpose of these eight limbs is to free us to realize our full potential and to bring liberation.
May all hearts be at ease. May our contentment promote the energies to alleviate suffering and turn ignorance into knowledge. May the cultivation of santosha guide us to courageous action, deeper community and greater love of all sentient beings.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Monthly Rant
Well, this is the time of the month when I'd post how FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY I've been for the past week & how I take it all out on poor Philip & fill a screen with regrets.
But you know what?
That didn't happen.
Well, at least it didn't seem to happen... so maybe I've suddenly become totally oblivious to the Raving Crazies.
Barring that, however, it seems I've been cured!
A month ago, I dumped my Yasmin. I immediately dropped 10lbs, stopped having migraines, was relieved of persistent foggy-headedness, and stopped having a myriad of awful PMS symptoms.
Yeah, special thanks to my doctor for telling me over & over that none of those things were related to Yasmin.
I'm switching doctors by the way.
More good news - the explosion of my kitchen pipes was not as bad as previously thought. Philip & I stuck it back together & were able to wash dishes & whatnot. It seems that the join was ruptured by being jostled. So, we just need to go back in & do it the right way (thanks for nothing, ex roommate), but it's working until then, as long as we don't touch it.
It looks like I've got a weekend full of blissful homework coming up. Philip is working both days, & has practice Friday night, so I'll be happily buried under a pile of books. Sure, I'd rather spend my time with him, but this is a pleasant alternative. :)
Oh! I have a running partner! We're going to start running together on Saturday. We plan to start slow. Real. Slow. Which is good, because even when I'm fast, I'm not that fast. ;)
So, good things are afoot for me! :)
I hope good things are footin' around with you, too!
But you know what?
That didn't happen.
Well, at least it didn't seem to happen... so maybe I've suddenly become totally oblivious to the Raving Crazies.
Barring that, however, it seems I've been cured!
A month ago, I dumped my Yasmin. I immediately dropped 10lbs, stopped having migraines, was relieved of persistent foggy-headedness, and stopped having a myriad of awful PMS symptoms.
Yeah, special thanks to my doctor for telling me over & over that none of those things were related to Yasmin.
I'm switching doctors by the way.
More good news - the explosion of my kitchen pipes was not as bad as previously thought. Philip & I stuck it back together & were able to wash dishes & whatnot. It seems that the join was ruptured by being jostled. So, we just need to go back in & do it the right way (thanks for nothing, ex roommate), but it's working until then, as long as we don't touch it.
It looks like I've got a weekend full of blissful homework coming up. Philip is working both days, & has practice Friday night, so I'll be happily buried under a pile of books. Sure, I'd rather spend my time with him, but this is a pleasant alternative. :)
Oh! I have a running partner! We're going to start running together on Saturday. We plan to start slow. Real. Slow. Which is good, because even when I'm fast, I'm not that fast. ;)
So, good things are afoot for me! :)
I hope good things are footin' around with you, too!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Pittie at TLAC needs adopter by 10/30
From Love a Bull:
This dog was brought to our attention, and has until 10/30 (this Friday) to find a home. If you can help, or pass along to others, please do -- put in an application for adoption at TLAC as soon as possible. His ID# is A559204, and pics are attached. Here's the report from a volunteer:
This male pit bull is about 55 pounds, full grown, staffordshire breed, 1yr 6 months, healthy as can be, great coat that is brindle and white. He is an amazingly beautiful pit. As of yesterday, he was in pen #244. He didn't make the adoption list for Town Lake as many pits and dogs don't because they have too many, so even the great dogs have to be put down. His euthanasia date was 10/29, but I extended it to the latest of 10/30 to keep trying to reach out to someone to rescue him. If it wouldn't cost me my soon to be marriage I would go get him so fast.
For the hour and a half that I was there yesterday evening, he sat on my lap for about an hour of it just relaxing, calmly and sweetly. If a dog went by, he was interested and would go up to the fence, but with his tail wagging happily. He deserves a second chance and would make any family so happy. He isn't fixed, but would be before leaving the shelter. I would do anything. I could even pick him up and bring him to you. Please please help me save this amazing pit bull.
This dog was brought to our attention, and has until 10/30 (this Friday) to find a home. If you can help, or pass along to others, please do -- put in an application for adoption at TLAC as soon as possible. His ID# is A559204, and pics are attached. Here's the report from a volunteer:
This male pit bull is about 55 pounds, full grown, staffordshire breed, 1yr 6 months, healthy as can be, great coat that is brindle and white. He is an amazingly beautiful pit. As of yesterday, he was in pen #244. He didn't make the adoption list for Town Lake as many pits and dogs don't because they have too many, so even the great dogs have to be put down. His euthanasia date was 10/29, but I extended it to the latest of 10/30 to keep trying to reach out to someone to rescue him. If it wouldn't cost me my soon to be marriage I would go get him so fast.
For the hour and a half that I was there yesterday evening, he sat on my lap for about an hour of it just relaxing, calmly and sweetly. If a dog went by, he was interested and would go up to the fence, but with his tail wagging happily. He deserves a second chance and would make any family so happy. He isn't fixed, but would be before leaving the shelter. I would do anything. I could even pick him up and bring him to you. Please please help me save this amazing pit bull.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Antsy
I feel so antsy today. Jumpy & jittery & unable to stay in my skin. Sorry 'bout that, skin...
I desperately need to go to the gym to work it out, but there's this pesky work thing blocking my way. Soon... soon... I will let that treadmill have all of this pent up energy. I certainly don't need it to sit at this desk all day!
I went to Stacey Lizette's drop-in class last night! Zills. I think I might be addicted. It was challenging, because I'm not used to the Suhaila format, and zills are one of my weaker points as a dancer. Sadly, so is layering! sniffle
How can one be a belly dancer & not bet good at layering?! I don't know... it's something to work on, for sure.
Anyway, I signed up for her Tuesday night beginner class. She offered to give me direction during class to go further than the exercises we're doing. That'll be awesome. I've wanted to take her class for quite some time. The contrast between her's and Bahaia's classes is interesting. Stacey is much more drill oriented (as is the nature of the Suhaila style), and Bahaia is more movement oriented. I think that the two styles will complement each other nicely, and really help me progress as a dancer.
We carved pumpkins last night! One of my favorite Halloween traditions... I got Philip a fairytale pumpkin, and he made it into a spaceship. I got all fancy & used a stencil to make a kitteh on mine. Pics soon!
Oh, and Philip made one of the amazing recipes out of the Veganomicon, the Cauliflower and Mushroom Potpie with Black Olive Crust.
zomg
I ate like 95 helpings.
Alex & Ben were over for a bit last night, too. I just love it that we have so many awesome neighbors!
I desperately need to go to the gym to work it out, but there's this pesky work thing blocking my way. Soon... soon... I will let that treadmill have all of this pent up energy. I certainly don't need it to sit at this desk all day!
I went to Stacey Lizette's drop-in class last night! Zills. I think I might be addicted. It was challenging, because I'm not used to the Suhaila format, and zills are one of my weaker points as a dancer. Sadly, so is layering! sniffle
How can one be a belly dancer & not bet good at layering?! I don't know... it's something to work on, for sure.
Anyway, I signed up for her Tuesday night beginner class. She offered to give me direction during class to go further than the exercises we're doing. That'll be awesome. I've wanted to take her class for quite some time. The contrast between her's and Bahaia's classes is interesting. Stacey is much more drill oriented (as is the nature of the Suhaila style), and Bahaia is more movement oriented. I think that the two styles will complement each other nicely, and really help me progress as a dancer.
We carved pumpkins last night! One of my favorite Halloween traditions... I got Philip a fairytale pumpkin, and he made it into a spaceship. I got all fancy & used a stencil to make a kitteh on mine. Pics soon!
Oh, and Philip made one of the amazing recipes out of the Veganomicon, the Cauliflower and Mushroom Potpie with Black Olive Crust.
zomg
I ate like 95 helpings.
Alex & Ben were over for a bit last night, too. I just love it that we have so many awesome neighbors!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
365 Days
I have a lot of friends with kids. I'm sure everybody does. One neat thing that some parents do is to take a pic of the kiddo every single day, to see the changes that happen so rapidly in babies.
I wish I'd taken pics like that of Logan, so I could see the morph from 43lb scaredy cat into 80lb clumsy lapdog. He looks the same to me, I just can't pick him up & put him on my hip any more.
It got me thinking... how quickly do we change as adults? Not as rapidly as babies, obviously. I was further inspired by some of the 365 Day photo projects out there, like this one. I'm not sure if I'll do 365 days, but maybe if it's super fun I'll just keep going.
So, here we go. Day One:
(I'm not having a great day, thus the less than enthusiastic look)
I wish I'd taken pics like that of Logan, so I could see the morph from 43lb scaredy cat into 80lb clumsy lapdog. He looks the same to me, I just can't pick him up & put him on my hip any more.
It got me thinking... how quickly do we change as adults? Not as rapidly as babies, obviously. I was further inspired by some of the 365 Day photo projects out there, like this one. I'm not sure if I'll do 365 days, but maybe if it's super fun I'll just keep going.
So, here we go. Day One:
(I'm not having a great day, thus the less than enthusiastic look)
Friday, October 16, 2009
THE SECOND COMING
THE SECOND COMING
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
- William Butler Yeats
For some reason, this has always been one of my favorite poems. I always hear it in the voice of Laurence Fishburne.
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
- William Butler Yeats
For some reason, this has always been one of my favorite poems. I always hear it in the voice of Laurence Fishburne.
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